“I meant,” said Ipslore bitterly, “what is there in this world that truly makes living worthwhile?”
Death thought about it.
“CATS,” he said eventually. “CATS ARE NICE.”
—Terry Pratchett, Sourcery
“And it meant this: that there are hardly any excesses of the most crazed psychopath that cannot easily be duplicated by a normal, kindly family man who just comes in to work every day and has a job to do.”
~ Terry Pratchett, Small Gods
Punch Clock Villain - Brazil [1985]
aölsdfnöalsdkfn why you so awesome?!
This quote and Mike’s character were so made for each other!
"Probably the last sound heard before the Universe folded up like a paper hat would be someone saying, ‘What happens if I do this?’"
Interesting Times. Terry Pratchett (via damagedbrainzs)
"Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon — he’d run them all. Later, when he learned with some surprise what the word actually meant, he’d been equally certain he wasn’t one. He was a person who divided the world quite simply into people who were trying to kill him and people who weren’t. That didn’t leave much room for fine details like what colour anyone was."
The Last Continent. Terry Pratchett (via damagedbrainzs)
414. In life, as in breakfast cereal, it is always best to read the instructions on the box.
"All it really meant was, that he was allowed to chase the little criminals who did the little crimes. There was nothing he could do about the crimes that were so big, you couldn’t even see them. You lived in them. So, safer to stick to the little crimes, Sam Vimes."
Terry Pratchett, Jingo (via sirpumpkinhead)
"
You’re offering to change history?” he said. “Is that it? Rewrite the—”
“Oh, my dear Vimes, history changes all the time. It is constantly being re-examined and re-evaluated, otherwise how would we be able to keep historians occupied? We can’t possibly allow people with their sort of minds to walk around with time on their hands. […]
"
Terry Pratchett, Jingo (via sirpumpkinhead)
"Esk, of course, had not been trained, and it is well known that a vital ingredient of success is not knowing that what you’re attempting can’t be done. A person ignorant of the possibility of failure can be a halfbrick in the path of the bicycle of history."
Equal Rites; Terry Pratchett (via aliveinquotes)
"
It is a popular fact that nine-tenths of the brain is not used and, like most popular facts, it is wrong. Not even the most stupid Creator would go to the trouble of making the human head carry around several pounds of un-necessary gray goo if its only real purpose was, for example, to serve as a delicacy for certain remote tribesmen in unexplored valleys. It is used. And one of its functions is to make the miraculous seem ordinary and turn the unusual into the usual.
Because if this was not the case, then human beings, faced with the daily wondrousness of everything, would go around wearing big stupid grins, similar to those worn by certain remote tribesmen who occasionally get raided by the authorities and have the contents of their plastic greenhouses very seriously inspected. They’d say “Wow!” a lot. And no one would do much work.
Gods don’t like people not doing much work. People who aren’t busy all the time might start to think.
Part of the brain exists to stop this happening. It is very efficient. It can make people experience boredom in the middle of marvels.
"
Small Gods, Terry Pratchett (via express-media)
